random starters from “ the office ”
001. ❛ i have very little patience for stupidity . ❜
002. ❛ this is the worst ! you are the worst ! ❜
003. ❛ I’M GOING TO KILL MYSELF ! ❜
004. ❛ sorry i annoyed you with my friendship . ❜
005. ❛ before i do anything , i ask myself “ would an idiot do that ” ? ❜
006. ❛ if i don’t have some cake soon , i might die . ❜
007. ❛ saw inception . or at least i dreamt i did . ❜
008. ❛ cool beans , man . ❜
009. ❛ i hate looking at your face . ❜
010. ❛ i wanna be wined , dined , and 69ed . ❜
011. ❛ i am running away from my responsibilites ! ❜
012. ❛ it’s britney bitch and i’m back . ❜
013. ❛ it took me so long to do so many important things . ❜
014. ❛ OH MY GOD ! okay , it’s happening .❜
015. ❛ i’m keeping a list of people who’ve wronged me . ❜
016. ❛ you are a professional idiot . ❜
017. ❛ well you are boner-ific . ❜
018. ❛ i am beyonce , always . ❜
019. ❛ WHERE ARE THE TURTLES ?! ❜
020. ❛ only thing that can make this day better is ice cream . ❜
021. ❛ i’ll slap you in the face with a rainbow . ❜
022. ❛ i just wanna lie on the beach and eat hot dogs . ❜
023. ❛ should have burned this place down when i had the chance . ❜
024. ❛ i’m an early bird and a night owl ! ❜
025. ❛ any man who says he totally understands women is a fool . ❜
026. ❛ women cannot resist a man singing showtunes ! ❜
027. ❛ i love the smell of bacon on women ! ❜
028. ❛ why are you the way that you are ? ❜
029. ❛ occasionally , i’ll hit somebody with a car . so sue me . ❜
030. ❛ congratulations , universes , you win . ❜
031. ❛ i want you to think about it long and hard . ❜
032. ❛ we’re all homos . . . homosapiens . ❜
033. ❛ no one is a bigger fan of sexual touching than me . ❜
034. ❛ would i rather be loved or feared ? easy . both . i want people to be afraid of how much they love me . ❜
035. ❛ i just want to eat . ❜
036. ❛ i am not to be truffled with . ❜
037. ❛ STAY FUCKING CALM ! ❜
038. ❛ welcome back jerky jerk face . ❜
039. ❛ now exactly how much pot did you smoke ? ❜
040. ❛ that’s what she said . ❜